So I had my last day of work on Monday. Now I have all of this free time where I am not constantly amused by elderly folk. I really miss my job. I actually would look forward to that job, even when working the 6am laundry shift. I loved the clash of people who worked and resided there immensely.
So a tribute to Shady Grove Nursing Home.
Some of my favorite moments/ conversations:
#10: Conversation with SSo on the bus to work
S: "I haven't painted realistic people in a while; I need to buy a black paint with a less green hue." Me: " Your black paint has a green hue? Huh." S: " Yeah I know right? (as a black man gets on the bus) You would think all blacks would be the same!"
#9: The day that State Survey came to observe the building, and a pipe broke in south hall bathroom. Leave it to Joyce to venture towards the faucet and try to turn off the water, getting herself completely drenched, and having to go home and change clothes.
#8: Any day that Bernice tried to escape the building was an entertaining day. But also any day she would just stand up from her wheelchair and her wheelchair alarm would go off, that was also entertaining. One day a nurse tried to coax her back into her wheelchair with promises of yogurt. Apparently Bernices like yogurt.
#7: Once when cleaning CTh's room, she told me "I hope you find a million dollars. I'd split it with you."
#6: Another time when cleaning CTh's room, she was complaining to me of an upset stomach. Once I had finally gotten her to push the Help Button, she let out an enormous belch, and then told me she was fine.
#5: I'll never forget the time that Joyce referred to the clock on the washer as "The Time Machine." When I began joking that I was very upset nobody told me we had a time machine, she didn't understand.
#4: Or having to work Thanksgiving night, when the nurses convinced me to take a goodie-bag home full of food. Later I opened the bag to find six cups full of what I guessed via smell was pureed turkey, mandarin oranges, and vanilla pudding. Apparently Ruth didn't want her goodie bag, and I don't blame her.
#3: The time I tried to leave work at the end of the day and didn't realize that the door was alarmed. They alarm the doors whenever high-risk residents are nearby. When I ran from the door, they found DJe at the scene of the crime, and wheeled him away. I got off scot-free.
#2: Folding laundry with SSo while simultaneously dancing to The Jackson 5. It helps the day go by faster.
#1: My favorite moment while working at Shady Grove Nursing Home was when I convinced all of my fellow employees that one of the residents spoke perfect English, when in reality he's Spanish-speaking from Portugal. The conversation went something like this:
Cs: "All he ever says is 'Clean Clean!'
Me: "Really? He speaks perfect English to me."
Cs: "What?? How is that possible? I've been working here for two years!"
Me: "Oh yeah he only speaks English when you're not around."
#9: The day that State Survey came to observe the building, and a pipe broke in south hall bathroom. Leave it to Joyce to venture towards the faucet and try to turn off the water, getting herself completely drenched, and having to go home and change clothes.
#8: Any day that Bernice tried to escape the building was an entertaining day. But also any day she would just stand up from her wheelchair and her wheelchair alarm would go off, that was also entertaining. One day a nurse tried to coax her back into her wheelchair with promises of yogurt. Apparently Bernices like yogurt.
#7: Once when cleaning CTh's room, she told me "I hope you find a million dollars. I'd split it with you."
#6: Another time when cleaning CTh's room, she was complaining to me of an upset stomach. Once I had finally gotten her to push the Help Button, she let out an enormous belch, and then told me she was fine.
#5: I'll never forget the time that Joyce referred to the clock on the washer as "The Time Machine." When I began joking that I was very upset nobody told me we had a time machine, she didn't understand.
#4: Or having to work Thanksgiving night, when the nurses convinced me to take a goodie-bag home full of food. Later I opened the bag to find six cups full of what I guessed via smell was pureed turkey, mandarin oranges, and vanilla pudding. Apparently Ruth didn't want her goodie bag, and I don't blame her.
#3: The time I tried to leave work at the end of the day and didn't realize that the door was alarmed. They alarm the doors whenever high-risk residents are nearby. When I ran from the door, they found DJe at the scene of the crime, and wheeled him away. I got off scot-free.
#2: Folding laundry with SSo while simultaneously dancing to The Jackson 5. It helps the day go by faster.
#1: My favorite moment while working at Shady Grove Nursing Home was when I convinced all of my fellow employees that one of the residents spoke perfect English, when in reality he's Spanish-speaking from Portugal. The conversation went something like this:
Cs: "All he ever says is 'Clean Clean!'
Me: "Really? He speaks perfect English to me."
Cs: "What?? How is that possible? I've been working here for two years!"
Me: "Oh yeah he only speaks English when you're not around."
1 comment:
hilarious! I'm sad you are leaving so there won;t be any new stories...
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